Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Leap of Faith
In the summer of 2005, my wife, daughter, and I joined up with my brothers and parents for a vacation in the Smokey Mountains. There was a cliff-diving spot along one of the mountain streams. There were two places to jump. The first was about 20 feet up and the second was about 40. It was hard to muster the courage to jump from the second, not because of the height I would be falling, but because of the distance I had to jump. I had to clear some rocks to make it to the water.
There were several times when I would stand on the edge as my mind wrestled with my body. You feel you're legs kicking off, but they aren't actually doing it. You feel and even visualize (from your own point of view) yourself leaping off the cliff, but you haven't actually done it. And, it's very difficult to tell which part of you is saying jump, and which part is begging you not to jump. Is your body wanting to jump, but your mind says no? Or is it the other way around?
I've been listening to, and reading about, Rich Mullins again lately. This has also lead to some reading about his hero, St. Francis of Assisi. I read about men like that, and it feels like standing on that cliff. "Jump!" "No!" "Just Jump!" "Don't!" "I jumped!" "No you didn't. You're still just standing here."
Oddly enough, what finally gave me the courage to jump was seeing my brother Wil do it.